GOOGIE

"There are some thangs that momma don't understand about mah cat-dom, mah ways.. When Ah decade to assert mah authoriteh, it ain't no tame to be going to the box to "pi-pi"..

Last naght, Ah decided it was payback. Ah had had it awl this tame, being kept away from momma's bed all naght just cause those two wenches up there, Bella and Katie.. 

At first, Ah didn't even wanna go ovah there cause of them but momma insisted to take me up there and plop me down on her bed. And then Ah realized Bella was gonna remain bah there, her big butt beckoning me.. Ah struck out. Ah asserted mahself, yes ma'am.. Ah got up and stood in front of her, big and tall.. Ah did not even have to twist mah neck, she cowered so low and got herself into a twist.. her ears all flat and awl. Jumping off the bed wasn't enough, Ah was hot on her trail and chased her under, took a couple air swipes at her.. Ah don't go for the jugular, no ma'am.. Ah just bluff.

Katie was next on mah list.. cause she was nearbah, waiting to cease her moment and get on momma's bed. "YOU! Yes, you!", Ah beckoned as Ah got closer and chased her outta the room. Ah was hot and Ah wound't tolerate no trespassers !!

There was a tame when Ah used to be the only one up there... Well, along with mah home girl, Pipi. But Ah been ...staying away cause Ah been getting those disapproving stares from both of these wenches, not to mention getting slapped bah one of 'em.. but we won't talk about that cause.. Well, Ah had some entanglings going on with that one.. She keeps making me feel unworthy for not producing her kittens, see..

So now, momma wanted me to go pi-pi in the middle of this tirade; she done trah to interrupt mah run of redemption bah picking me up agin and getting me to the box!! 'Time to go pi-pi?', she done tale me.. No, momma, it ain't.. Ah'm beesy here.

Nah next move was to go scruff mah home girl whose nick-name actually EEZ Pipi and mah authoriteh tour would be complete! "

Really Aggressive Females

GOOGIE'S GRITS

"Ah sometames have to put up with some really aggressive females. There Ah was, in my deep snooze this afternoon, Ah had found me a new spot near mom's new area. Manding mah own business. When little Getty finds me and plops right up on me.

Well Ah declare, AH had to sheeft and try to avoid her smothering me when suddenly? She done grab me bah mah cheek, rendered me hostage to sitsteel.

Ah took it... Ah surrendered in mah groggy state and let her have her way with me while Ah layed there helpless, unable to move.

Momma done not like that though. She eenterveened on mah behalf and sent Getty scrambling outta the room. "

Proper Cattiquette

"When I wake up from my long snooze on the one cat beddie, and it's time to change over to the chair and continue my snooze, I feel it's proper cattiquette to first walk over to mom at the couch and mark her; you know, rub my chin against her hand. 

And then I'm ready for phase two of my afternoon snooze. "

Pissing On The Computer Bag

"Seriously, the "DOCTOR"?!! It's not like I'm crapping all over the place ... I only pissed on your prized computer bag to make a point ! "

A Tired Tongue, A Lick Apart

GOOGIE:

"Ah get a little put off with Baby's constant adorations sometames.. Like this morning, Ah'm paying mah respects to mom, keeping her company bah her feet as she sits on her throne and he cuts in repeatedly to lick mah face over and over again. 

How many tames do you have to do that ? Don't you get tired ? Doesn't your tongue get numb ?! 

Ah had to gently push him away with mah paw .. Ah want him to grow up a little and not be so clingy. Plus he interferes with me and mom and our tame togetha. "

A Change of Heart

BIG BELLA

"It started out with me not wanting to look at the camera .. I was trying to ignore it. But then? Mom asked me if I could give her a kiss-kiss ... And I started looking quite eager. 

Ready to please after all. "

The Rumors of My Sterility

AS THE CAT WORLD TURNS:

"No ...I didn't say you had no sperm... I said you just couldn't get me pregnant when you tried so hard.  You can't get ANY body pregnant here, can you? Not even your prized home girl Pipi who you like to scruff so much ... And when I press them, they all admit there've been no babies."

Her "Pretty Girl"

KATIE KITTY'S KAHOOTS:

"I watched in agony as mom stood over big Bella, coo-cooing her and telling her that she's her 'beautiful cat".. Bella looking up at her and lapping it all up. I couldn't stand it ANY more.

From my perch on top of the couch where I had a bird's eye view of this nauseating little scene, I blurted out my angst loud and clear:

"Mmmm!!! "

It wasn't quite a meow..nor a scream. It was a short cry for attention. A 'look-at-ME!' 'Mmmmh!!!"

I need not use words to express myself. She gets it. She came right over and told ME I was her 'pretty girl'. "

The Loss of Dignity

"Momma done fand me squatting on the box as she opened the door. There was this awkward moment passing between us. 

Ah have lost mah deegniteh .. "

A Friend That Can Be Trusted

LITTLE GETTY'S WORLD:

"I have come to feel just as confident and comfortable with Mr. B-Bippy as I do with daddy-Googie all these years. Mom lady calls him "baby" but he's no 'baby'. He defends me and he avenges me - every time. I've seen him chase that mean-girl Katie with a vengeance, he'll fly up those steps after her all on my behalf.

And so now when I see him enter the kitchen, I will get up and follow - just like I do when I see Daddy. He is the deputy alright - and I follow. I feel safe to eat with him around. "

Attention Appreciated

LITTLE GETTY

"That mom lady...She just wanted to take my picture. So I posed and blinked back at her.

I like the attention. Even if the others don't like it, I've heard the gossip from that shrew Katie sayin' that mom is trying to steal her energy when she gets mad, that Katie. And Bella has told me how she doesn't like it either, it's fake she said. But my role model and best friend miss Pipi don't mind it and nor does my daddy Googie - and that's what I go by.

I like the attention. To me, that's real. "

B-Bippy On the Job: Avenging Princess

"I caught my nasty babysitter at it again! 

I'm lurking nearby mom near the corner of the room when my eye catches that Katie stalking my bestie and my family's head, miss Princess. I am in love with miss Princess.. she been good to me since I was a youngster.. And so here I am, watching mean-girl Katie lower her belly to the floor, balancing her bony butt and ready to spring and lunge on Pipi's butt! 

I did my own quick stalking - I flew across the room, passing mom on the way and landing next to Katie, causing her to flee up the stairs. I then strutted towards the kitchen, Getty congratulating me on my feat. "

No Neck Twisting Needed

PIPI'S POINT:

"I don't have to throw my weight - or rank - around.

Like, tonight: when Baby gets too fresh with me, when he gets in my face? I just let him to know in one subtle move to back off:

I simply lift my paw just so - and poke him on his chest to step back. Just like that.

No fuss, no hiss, no posturing - no neck twisting. "

I Kissed a Diva - And I Think I Liked It

GOOGIE:  

AH KISSED A DIVA - and Ah think Ah liked it.

Ah was manding mah own beesiness, waitin' for mom to serve us our dinner. Mah brood, they all get excited over this.. They start circling around the bowls, looking up at mom, Bella especially starts meowing at her.. it's kind of sad how Ah see her begging every tame. And Ah just stand back and watch it all happen, Ah know mah plate will be full soon, there is no need for fussing.

And then it happened. In her haste and eagerness to get to her meal, Bella turned her head and suddenly she was face-to-face with me. Ah stood there, calm and collected and regarded her furr face. Ah had nevah been so close to her bafawre.

And then she leaned in and ...nose-tipped me.  "Goog?!", she said anxiously with her huge eyes. "ARE we going to get our wet noms tonight? What do you think big boy?!". She was begging... Even me.

"Yes, Bella. We will get it, don't worry", Ah reassured her. And then she turned again toward mom - and now Ah was staring at her butt. Maght as well kiss it - or sniff it at that point. The whole nosetip thang got me interested..

Burrito-Babe Non Grata

BIG BELLA

"Just don't call me a burrito and we'll be fine. 

I'm on a hair trigger at the mention of a "burrito babe" .."

Love - Interrupted

BIG BELLA:

"How DARE he come by and interrupt my visit to mom?

I just started walking toward mom this morning when she sat down on the couch.. I wanted to exchange pleasantries because I had not seen her or touched her all morning and that big orange Goog had to walk in front of me and steal my thunder. 

I did not miss the opportunity. I struck out with my right paw and poked him on his back, trying to stop him from moving forward:

"GROWL! I'm warning you!!! ", I hissed.

He acted like he didn't notice, can you believe it. "

Bagging It

GOOGIE

"Momma done come home with a bunch of dry food bags - we know it's all for us, we ain't no fools. But the dang bags are still standing on the kitchen floor and she's sat her ass down on the couch. 

Ah tried to run interference for mah whole brood, especially miss Bella who was getting anxious about the idea of new food bags. Ah tried to convey these sentiments to momma at the couch but she didn't get it - so Ah went back to the kitchen to ...ah supervise the others poking and clawing at the bags. 

Ah had to geeve big Bella the bad news as Ah plopped down waitin' on the kitchen floor.

See, it don't matter if our bowls are currently full. What matters is that there are new bags waitin' - and we can't wait. If it's ours, it's ours, geeve it to us with no delay. "

The Affable Avenger

DEPUTY B-BIPPY:

"I may be in a different room when Katie Kitty goes apeshit - but I leap and lunge across the floor when I get wind that my Princess is being mistreated. Which is what I did last night when I heard the commotion. 

Can you believe it... That meanie Katie, my babysitter-from-hell, charged my beautiful miss Princess and told her to get out of the scratching posts there under the table. And I leapt over out of the kitchen and stuck my face into Katie's, warning her to simmer down - or else !!! 

I have deep affection for miss 'Pipi'... she was good to me ever since I was a baby, see.. Not like that Katie. "

Babysitter With An Agenda

BABY B-BIPPY and KATIE KITTY (the Bad Babysitter)

"I got stuck with a bad babysitter with an agenda..

She was overly strict with me cause she said she had lost her own babies.. So she kept hissing at me to make me stay in place..."

[Cat Editor's Note:  Katie Kitty, the cat in the background, came from the NYC shelter when she was barely 6 months old and had given birth already to kittens.. We don't know what happened to her kittens.. ] 

Tail Wagging the Cat

BABY B-BIPPY:

"I discovered that my tail is chasing me!! I can't get it out of my mind!!! I climbed on top of the coffee table to be with mom but then my tail got in the way and I began to try and go in circles on top of the table right then and there! 

My tail has a mind of its own and I have to tame it !!! I can even see it in the dark! "