Wrong Name, Right Cat

I have noticed repeatedly now that every time I call out "Gabriel??", Princess shows up instead. Okay: what's going ON here??

She did it again today. He was nowhere to be found and so I called him. I guess they were both out of my sight. "Gabriel???", I called out the cat-mom 'cry'... Princess then comes out of nowhere and jumps up to eye-level on the bed, looking at me ready to be petted, curving her head just so...

"You don't need him... I'M here..", I think she seems to be saying.

"You do realize though... that's not YOUR name, right?? "....I told her.

Are they like... playing head games with me now? :) Is really Gabriel the 'real Princess' ? and vice versa? hmmm...
(Nahhh... not a chance!)

Ah Can Take A Hint

Mom was doin' sometin' on the "beddie bye" the uther naight, she was real beesy. [I was changing the sheets.] After a whale, Ah couldn't wait any moare so Ah jumped up.

"NO! Gabriel! Get down please!", she said. Ah tried again a few minutes later, and as Ah was balancin' mah back feet? Here she comes at me again, catching me right bafawre Ah jumped. She quietly moved me away from the "beddie bye".

Awlright, alwready.. If you wanna be that way Ah'll just go to the uther room entirely. Eet's MAH room anywah, [Googie thinks the second bedroom is his], and Ah decided to just lay down there and wait.

Even though there is no light, or anythang... There's really nothing going awn in that room to be honest, mom never goes there. Ah went there on my own accord and STAYED there in the dark for a while.

[..."Googie" really does have quite the ego...Or his feelings get hurt easily.]

Clothes-Mindful

I layed a bunch of clothes across the bed, here and there. Princess was quietly snoozing on one corner of it when Gabriel ("Googie") decided to jump up and be part of this cozy little party. Even though I was preoccupied, putting things away, I noticed he stalled for a few moments after jumping on. He looked at Princess, she looked at him, something passed between them. He hesitated. Next thing I know, he chose to lay on an empty spot of the bed - there were few such spots available.

I can imagine how this little cat-cross-communication went:

"Hey there, Pipi, what's up? "

"Googie? If you know what's good for you, I wouldn't step on any of these clothes she's got all over the place here. She doesn't like that and you'll get in trouble."

"Huh... Yeah, now that you mention it, I see what you mean..."

"I'm telling you Googie, don't do anything stupid.. She's gonna tell you to "get down" if you lay on any of it."

"Huh.. well, okay, Pipi... Okay! Ah won't.."


[... If she could only tell him not to crap on the sink every morning we'd all be happier...]

The Princess Factor

Like cat-daughter, like mom I guess...or vice versa. I continue to get Princess comments ascribed to my overall persona.. Not to mention having been compared to a cat many times in my younger life (as in ... "catty"). I remember Lori, one of my closest friends way back when (in college), always calling me a "putty-tat". Even giving me a laminated picture of a cat's face, one time. I tell you, I have cat in my blood. So now, not only am I being dismissed as a "Princess" by cynical half-drunk gift store clerks at Tyson's (just because I'm looking at a Princess item), I also garner real compliments from aspiring -much younger- boyfriends.

Jad was one such applicant. Poor Jad. Jad was/is a young attorney who thought I was about 28 years old. (But that was a couple of years ago... ) Anyway, I was relating the story of Jamal (no kidding, the names are real), and how poorly Jamal did in his uh, audition.

"Denise! I'M an ATTORNEY!", Jad tried to make me see the light. "HE'S a... CATERER! I mean, YOU'RE a... PRINCESS, and have to be TREATED like one..!"

I will never forget Jad and his well-meaning intentions. Even if he did try to lure me to somebody's empty pad which had furniture only in the bedroom....

A Whisper And a Jump

You know? Pipi may think that I'm slow sometimes but Ah tell you whaat: Ah'm nawwt. Nawwt at awl.

Let me tell ya whah: Ah was layin' down on mom's "beddie bye" last night, and it was quite late. Ah knew that sooner or later mom was gonna turn in.

So, here she comes at me as Ah'm layin' there in awl mah glory. And she TAWLKS to me, in this quiet little whisper. She lowers her face close to mine, and explains to me that "it's time to go to beddie bye now". And she says the "I'm sorry" word. And "would Ah please get down now?".

Well, okay... Eef you put that way, Ah guess there's nuthin' much Ah can really do than oblage. Ah mean, how can Ah deeg mah paws against THAT?

So, bafawre she even got a chance to hold me and put me down herself, Ah deed the most reasonable thang any cat can do: Ah got up and got down mahself, Headed straight for the door.

Prefer Whole Milk

Just when you thought that I was THE extreme cat lover, indulging my cats and treating them like my adoptive children, "Priscilla" has to get one over on me... Do me one better.

She revealed today that she has figured out why her cat-child (her male orange 6-toed cat) is particularly happy when he visits the family homestead, in spite of a long drive to the home.

"You see, Denise", she explained, "He usually drinks the milk out of my cereal bowl but I drink 2% milk. When we come here, Dad had the whole milk, so I use that for my cereal. So he looks forward to getting better-tasting milk out of my bowl."

WHERE Are The Toms??!!!

Princess here - and prancing around the last few days, calling out to all available Toms. I roll all over the floor, shout out on top of my little lungs... "Hello out there! Where ARE you?!"... But nothing. Just last night, I got so desperate, I took a swipe at Googie's butt as he was turning away from me, I was still rolling on the floor while at it. 'Hey, hey! there! Hey, YOU!" I went, aiming at his big behind. He just can't quite get it together.. He gets impatient with me and then he tries to nip me on my back but that's just about it. What's wrong with that boy, anyway? I was promised a lot of PLAY here, okay?

So this morning I pleaded with mom. I came right into her small room and just.. exclaimed, 'What's going ON here?! I don't SEE anyone!"

"Are you okay Princess honey? ", she said. "Owhoo!", I replied (Translation: "Nooo... I really have to get some play here!! ")

"Well, I'm sorry I cannot supply you with Toms."

A Bonanza!

Mom came in the other nite and I greeted her "downstairs" as usual with Googie. But this time, she left the door open.

I can't tell you what a fun time I had. Even though I kept hearing her calling me every time from upstairs, I got too busy to care. I had this ENTIRE place to explore inside, where her smell was all over it [the car in the garage with the door left open].

I put nose-to-this big thing where she goes every time, I even see it come back to our house. Her smell was all around and there were so many things in there I had to check. Oh, MY GOD, I had never had the chance to step on so many thingies... Too bad I couldn't carry any of them with my mouth.

She finally busted me as she came "downstairs" looking for me. She saw me just in time as I tried to tip-toe out of the place, as nonchalantly as I could muster. There would be no shocked looks her way, I would not miss a beat, I just stepped off [the car] and went in my way, you know?

That's what a cool-cat does.

Ah Have Mah Limits

Hah, y'awl. As Gabriel the man-cat here, Ah thank you awl know bah naw that Ah am most willing and able to please. Ah just looove mom to death, along with Pipi, and Ah've always done what she wanted. Ah mean, Ah move away when she teals me, especially when Ah hear the word "excuse me". Eet may have taken me a little longer than Pipi, but Ah do, Ah do... Ah move right away when Ah hear "excuse me". And Ah do uther thangs, like move away when she tells me "Out!", Ah mean you can eeven see 'dat on video, know what Ah mean? And let's nawt forget that Ah even move out of the way when Ah hear her go "Let her eat, please!" and so then Ah leave Pipi's bowl alone when she's eatin.

And so, Ah plead mah case here that Ah have done anything and everytin' possible to please. But you know whaat? You can't cross a certain line with me.

Ah'm tawlking about the time the uther day when Ah'm bah my 'nummy num' place and Ah've decided to have mah dinner. So Ah'm standing there, eatin. And next thang Ah hear is that awl-familiar "excuse me?" right bah mah ears mand you. And Ah knew what she wanted, Ah knew -- becohze Ah had seen the whate cloth. See, she wanted to clean mah paws, and Ah had done mah best to avoid it. So, Ah figured, if Ah go bah the bowls and start eatin'? She'll go away.

Eet didn't work out that wah. The moment Ah heard her go "excuse me?", and right after she starts grabbing for mah paws? Ah had a regular hissy-fit. Ah gawt SO pissed off, Ah thought Ah was gonna speet. Ah mean Ah just stood there and practically JUMPED, Ah was so peeesed. To drave the point home to her, Ah hissed a leetle and yelled, 'er kinda growled.

Let me tell ya, eet awl was no pretty picture. She wouldn't budge, and AH wouldn't budge. NAWT THIS TIME. Ah ended up hurtin' her a leetle and then Ah felt fearful and went and hid under her own bed. She finally had to tawlk to me and nudge me out of there at which point, Ah got out and had to face Pipi who stood and stared at me.

"What's going on, Googie? What the hell have you done?"

"Ah don't know, Pipi... She's just eenseeesting mah paws get cleaned and Ah don't want to have any part of it. Nawt tuday."

"Well, let's just go downstairs together and she'll forget about it soon, okay?" Mah ears were still slicked back a beet, and mah fur was definitely ruffled. And Ah had to feegure owt naw how in the hale Ah was gonna get back in with mom. 'Cuze she screamed when Ah lashed out at her.

So the next mornin', Pipi offered to be bah mah side when Ah re-approached. Ah deedn't have the guts to actually greet mom, as usual yet. Nor did Ah come bah to see her in her leetle room where she goes every mornin'. So Ah missed mah special time with her in there that I usually get. But Ah got the nerve up to stand outsade that room with Pipi rootin' for me just a few inches away, looking on.

"Hah! You're HERE, are you?? ", Ah heard mom say. So the ice broke. Soon enough, Ah knew she was steel on the 'beddie-bye' and Ah eventually decided to get enough nerve to jump up there and go to her. After Ah saw that awl was cool, Ah decided to spend extra time nuzzling her face and being extra attentive to her. For a much longer time than usual, you know?

So, we made up... But Ah hope Ah weel nawt get to see the whate cloth anytime soon.


[Mom-Editor's Note:.... Who knew "Excuse me?" would cause such a furry... but that was exactly the trigger that made him snap. ]

:)

An Interview About A Cat

In my never-ending quest for the "right" consulting gig, I interviewed recently at another yet small consulting firm. Their recruiter, Dede, had solicited me by email and invited me to come in and meet the hiring manager. As I sat in Dede's office waiting, she started chatting with me. She had a few pics up on her shelves of her pets, along with her children, and she must've noticed that I looked up at them so she let me know about her cats and her new dog. She said she had an unusual cat she had had a strong bond with. Then the cat passed, and she found a dog by accident. It was a rescue. She was on a roll now, as I sat and listened. She said that the dog, when she brought it home, began to do all the things the cat used to do. The dog understood her from the start, 'all the little things I would say to the [cat], I started repeating them to the dog and he knew it all.. he's doing all the things the cat used to do..', she explained.

I looked at her, listening and nodding. I smiled and let her know I understood quite well what she was talking about. I think she did too, although that wasn't enough for me to get the job (something about preferring not to show up at 8:30am sharp every day clear out in Timbuktu did me in... :)